The Next Morning
2026-05-31
Actually achieving your dreams is kind of whack, honestly.
I usually don't write here on Sundays since I already have the link log posted, but whatever. I've been thinking about people who really went out there, did their thing, failed a bunch, worked harder, got lucky, and achieved something great. Then I think of that thing they achieved, and realize that they have to wake up the next morning, just like the rest of us. Imagine the sorrow of that morning, waking up after the greatest day of your life, then having to just—keep going. That makes me afraid to dream, honestly. Raymond Carver had a great line: "Dreams are something you wake up from." Even if that Great Thing happens, it'll end. It will have left the consciousness of everyone, and that's it; the world keeps on spinning. Isn't that just great?
In that sense, I might not be so afraid to dream, then. But more than that, it's just another reminder of how much the moment itself matters. All those times we have—good, bad, mediocre, sad, joyous—it's another turn of the page. Maybe that's why, with technology the way it is, everyone is so anxious to record everything; it's a futile act of preserving the moment. I know I already wrote a whole essay about it, but damn it, I don't like the idea of recording everything. A funny irony to that statement: I got interviewed by Pearl Davis today. She showed up at my parish with a big red sign with black lettering that said "Should Christian women obey their husbands?" Of course, the folks at my parish weren't pleased to have her there; the clergy tried telling her to leave, but she stood her ground on her right to be on public grounds with her camera and sign. Honestly, I was just more jazzed to have a chance to chat with her. When she was hot a few years ago due to redpill content being super mainstream, I caught a lot of those clips and found myself dumbfounded that she was in front of my parish.
The actual interview itself was fine; of course, she used certain rhetorical tactics that were a bit flamboyant, like hypothetical scenarios to put me in her frame. I was fine with that, but always feel discouraged by folks who do that. In the context of a recorded interview, it makes sense, and I think she's just become glued to what gets her numbers. The conversation itself was good, though, and she was generally charitable. Truthfully, I think she just wanted to figure things out for herself, and in her I saw a dedicated Seeker. If Pearl or the camera guy are reading this, hello! I had a good interview and a pleasant conversation, and I also gave the camera guy a link to this site, so if you're here for the first time from that video when it gets put up, hello to you also!
My website has been performing better, and it's a strange thing to see. Not to imply that the interview with Pearl will be some kind of breakout moment or anything, but outside of that, I am a bit afraid of what will come with more eyes getting put on my work. I think people appreciate these little vignettes, and thankfully my content architecture is one that makes me and (hopefully) my readers happy as well. At this point, I think I'm in it for a good long haul, and there's much excitement in waking up every day with the chance to become a better writer. That's the beauty of it; in many disciplines there's a sort of peak when one is young, and the improvement fades with age. Writing is the exact opposite because you only get better with age. There's no doubt in my mind that I'll be a far better writer at 50 than I am now at 28. Gosh, can you imagine? 22 more years of hardcore writing. At this pace I'm at now, it'll be a monstrous body of work. I hope you're ready for it.
Then again, once it's over, I'll still have to wake up the next morning.
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