The Best and the Rest
2026-06-22
If I get famous, that means they're trying to kill me.
Not that I'd ever get famous, right? Right? I'm kidding, but honestly, I'm still reeling a bit from that post I made yesterday. More than anything, it's hard to see why "they" would even want to make me famous in the first place. It might seem like I'm framing the antecedent as the Epstein-class or something, but honestly, those kinds of people are more starving and desperate for relevance than any of us common folk anyway. To them, status is the ultimate currency—mostly because they sacrifice most of their time in pursuit of their career or whatever pseudo-religious thing people with a bunch of money like to latch onto these days. No, people don't really care about a personal blog written by some crazy guy who just spews out all the silly things he thinks about. Unfortunately, this project doesn't really have any further aim than where it's at now; even if I do somehow break containment and amass a substantial base of readers, there's not really anywhere else this project can go. Maybe I'd talk more about current events or whatever, but then that would just make me a cultural commentator, and clearly we're all pretty sick of those people anyway.
Still, there's a certain degree of amusement in thinking about what would happen if I were all of a sudden plopped onto a larger stage. If I ever got invited to do a podcast, I'd have a lot of fun saying "no thanks, podcasts are stupid" to all the vultures out there. But no, podcasts really are stupid. It's tough to take a good thought and turn it into that form, and if I did ever do something like that, I'd struggle because there would probably be a fair bit of dead air. With writing, I can sit here and think as long as I want about what I have to say; there's no need to worry about getting interrupted or sandbagged either. More than that, I have a chance to revise my words and make them sharper. With public speaking, it's harder to be sharp. However, those who are really good at it deserve a fair bit of admiration, even if they have silly opinions. I'd like to get better at public speaking, and if I ever do start that damn internet radio station, a live talk segment would be fun to do. Or just chatting between tracks. Yeah, that'd be great.
Still, I'd have to rent a VPS, set up Icecast on it, learn BUTT, blah blah blah. Writing is a tough deal on its own, but at least here my workflows are down pat and I can get these entries out like it's nothing. Yet despite that, I crave more creative output. I was also considering getting back into learning math and starting a math blog. I always liked math, but I struggled in school a bit because I have a touch of dyscalculia. It's not that bad, and while I have decent number sense, it was tough when I reached more advanced levels because the worst symptom I have is misinterpreting symbols. Certain numbers and operators get mixed up, and when I had to do long, multi-step problems, it became harder to keep up because one misinterpreted symbol messes up the whole process, even if I understood how to solve the problem conceptually.
However, math isn't all about doing complicated algebra, and now that I don't have to worry about solving math problems for a grade, it seems like it would be a good bit of fun to learn that more advanced math I was always curious about. I'd have to relearn calculus since it's been so long, and probably spend some time brushing up on my algebra, but learning advanced concepts like differential equations and linear algebra sounds like fun. And after that, I could get into that deeper conceptual territory high-level math is composed of. I majored in philosophy in college, and here in the US, analytic philosophy is the most popular form to study; however, I always found analytic philosophers to be wannabe mathematicians, so I'd like to actually figure it out for myself and BTFO all those symbolic logic professors.
I love how I have all these dreams of stuff I want to do, and then end up not doing 95% of it. What a lovely life I live, right? Nah, it's alright. In my self-development, I've learned that the best way to incorporate new skills into my life is to do them incrementally, piece by piece, day by day. I overestimate what I can get done in a day, and underestimate what I can get done in a few years. It's a good thing to have interests, ideas, and dreams; but it's also okay to let them stay that way for a while, let them marinate in my mind so that I can know for sure I want to put them out into the world. We have such a beautiful and unique talent to take our thoughts and make them real, so it should be up to us to make sure we put out only the best, and leave the rest.
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