Welcome Back, Autumn
2025-09-21
Today has been a good day. I finally started writing a new essay today and I feel good about the progress I've made on that so far. It's a much different workflow that writing in here because with any kind of longer piece I want to write, I always prefer having some kind of outline so that I don't get lost in any kind of needless tangents and to make sure that there is a consistent logic in the piece. Even for pieces that are more "artistic" like fiction, I still prefer an outline so that I don't have to ask any questions about where the piece is going to head. Of course, if I decide while I'm writing something that it should deviate from the outline, I'm not afraid to do that. For me though, going in with a plan is always better than just winging it. Like I was saying, if it's a longer piece, I'm for sure going to write an outline. I feel that over the course of my life with writing, I've felt implored to build up to certain lengths of pieces because I have somewhat high standards, so I want to make sure that I'm writing in a way that I'm proud of and not fumbling around with the consistency and quality of whatever ideas I wish to write about. I don't like writing wasted words.
Also, today is officially the first day of fall here in America. The weather is still a bit humid and disgusting here, but better weather is getting closer and I'm excited for it. Going outside during the summer is a torturous affair, so being able to enjoy the outside again is always a welcome part of this time of year. But yeah, I don't really have much else to say on the matter.
Again, I seem not to feel any sort of creative spark like I've been feeling lately. I'm struggling to come up with words to type and it doesn't feel as if there's any new or interesting ideas I've thought of throughout the day. I think most people drastically overestimate the creativity of their thoughts. I know that for me, I've gotten into a habit of recording most of my thoughts throughout the day and I've seen that creativity is like a constantly clogged faucet: when it's running, it's great but when it's not, it feels like an absolute chore to get anything out that feels worthy of being written. Writing can sometimes be a very rewarding activity, especially when the thoughts come out in what feels like an unadulterated way. But there are times where writing feels like an absolute slog and getting anything out feels almost painful.
I feel as if I'm at some sort of inflection point here, but I don't really know how to feel about it. I would say writing today's entry doesn't feel good, but I am reaping the benefits of maintaining a consistent practice, so I can still keep churning out the words even when I can feel the pains of the clogged thought pipes.
I don't want to push myself any further than I have to, so I think I'll end things here. Welcome back, autumn.