Seaming Ideas
2025-09-23
Today has been a rather slow day. Unfortunately, I had trouble falling asleep last night and couldn't fall asleep until around 4 AM. I woke up at my desired time (around 8 AM) but have found myself sleeping most of the day to compensate for last night's abysmal attempt to fall asleep. It was tough dealing with it, but I decided to make a better decision: I decided to not let it get to me. Moreover, I took it as an opportunity to just chill out and rest. I put on some binaural beats and took a long nap this afternoon and it was honestly quite nice. And still, I decided to show up and write because I didn't want it to feel like this nagging obligation and want it to feel more like the privilege that it actually is. I'm still a bit tired as I'm writing this entry in the late afternoon, but I know I'll catch my stride this evening. I still have my IOKTIKN piece that I'm working on and progress with that has been smooth. I love being able to write in what I interpret as a higher register thanks to fierce outlining and refinement. The workflow with these entries is pretty solid and I have a good grasp on how I approach them, but now the goal is to get IOKTIKN in that same state.
I'm still rather sold on the content bank idea and at this point, I see the importance of keeping a repository of pieces in the back pocket at all times as opposed to immediately publishing once I finish something. I've found that if I want to have any kind of success as a "writer", then I need to get comfortable with deadlines and working through them. Writing pieces on a whim, while fun, is not the true essence of the vocation. The idea is to cultivate discipline slowly. Discipline itself is a fleeting thing and not something that should be consistently relied upon. Instead, it's better to load one's writing progressively. A few hundred words every day for a year beats five thousand in a single day every time. It's all about the cathedral mindset: understanding that each day is a smaller piece of the larger whole that one might not see come to completion. But instead of approaching that idea with despair, it's better to approach it with reverence. The future is uncertain, but building day by day, one thing at a time—that's the essence of what it is I'm trying to do here.
I don't have a full idea of what these projects will look like in the future. I would like to look back and be proud of all the work I put into the craft, regardless of who reads it or whatever kind of reception it gets. More than anything, I want to not only become more productive with my writing, but I want to feel a sense of improvement with my prose. I want to feel like I am getting closer and closer to the pure essence of my voice. It's something that most people never find, but I feel implored to accept the challenges that lie ahead. Ultimately, I understand that writing isn't for the writer, but for the reader. I don't write these words to only enjoy the act of writing them, but I write them because it is the single most efficient and true way to convey the essence of my humanity to others and create the common threads that bind us together. In that way, I am a sewer of ideas, working each day to tighten the thread that is the perceived human experience. Even if it's just one person who feels a sense of connection to what I'm writing, its purpose will be fulfilled.