Calculated Effortlessness
2025-09-10
Today while I was at the gym, I saw a cute girl while working out. I usually see cute girls working out at the gym because it's the perfect environment for them—an excellent breeding ground for vanity. Typically, there's not many unique thoughts that come across my mind when I see a cute girl working out.
"Damn, she's hot." "Why is she trying to instigate the Male Gaze?" "Shit shit shit quit looking at her butt." "Oh great, she caught you looking at her butt. Good job, pervert."
This is a rather ordinary internal dialogue while doing cardio, but then I thought about something else: these types of girls who wear the trending workout clothes (otherwise known as gym hoe attire) want to give off a vibe I see a lot of women striving for—calculated effortlessness. The desired effect is to come off like perfection is second nature or perhaps just a side effect of radiated coolness, but truthfully it is a massively choreographed effort. Every detail gets obsessed over and rehearsed ad nauseam. Does it work? The sad part is that we can never really know. We can't know our true standing among friends, acquaintances, and especially strangers. How is it possible to know what people are saying about someone when they're not there?
Many people think that gossip is a bad thing, but it's ultimately the engine for maintaining social order. The best way to make an assessment about someone is when they aren't there so as not to change the trajectory of the group's judgments. It's where a person's impact is most readily assessed. Without gossip, we wouldn't be able to truly know the most desired social outcomes. Of course there's a difference between productive and unproductive gossip. For me personally, I hate it when people needlessly yap about someone's cringe behavior because I don't even find it entertaining—it just makes me feel gross. Many of my good friends like to do it so I understand the appeal and there will be times where I participate just to keep for fun conversation, but ultimately it isn't something I'd seek out to do myself. Also, I don't really think unproductive gossip is morally wrong in principle. Too much of it is the spiritual equivalent of going to Taco Bell at 2 AM, but hey we all have our moments.
But anyways, calculated effortlessness is something that people should stop trying to go for. I used to try that vibe and it's unsustainable and exhausting.