2026-09-26
I saw a mule the other day.
For the lesser wizards out there, if you see a guy who knows just when a building puts up a for-lease sign, practices Advanced Homelessness, and stays in the motel next door the next day, you have seen a professional high-IQ schizo drug trafficker who has watched people die. I saw him order some DoorDash and bring it to his motel room, and I said a heartfelt prayer: Lord, don't let me become that advanced in those dark ways. No, I'm fine with being an ill-fated flaneur, a man with too much ego to not shut the fuck up, but not enough to tell those who love me to fuck off. I try to use my powers for some kind of good, even if it's a small, infinitesimal dose of entertainment for whatever masses ended up clicking their way here today.
Also, on my travels, I saw some birds fighting over a half-eaten slice of pizza on the ground. What, you bitches still watch TV? Sad!
On my Labor Day weekend trip, I got g-checked by a military chaplain, and as I've been stewing on it these last few weeks, I keep thinking about how cool the whole ordeal was. I was chatting with his son, a young buck just about to graduate from secondary school. I was in the middle of a winding story about lucid dreams, and right before I got to the moral I was going to spell out, the chaplain gave me a nice g-check I haven't gotten in a while. Not my first time, but the Good Lord commands me to hold my tongue when being rebuked by my betters, so I decided to keep any witty retorts to my own personal head-canon, as opposed to saying anything that would negatively affect my salvation; thanks, Jesus! My only prayer is that I may be so bold as to do the same for my future lesser ones, and that they hold the same patience I attempted in the middle of my sharp, soft rebukes. I've still got a lot to learn on that front, but this life is my education, and I'm ready to go to class, motherfuckers!
I'm keeping that Chrysostom quote about the walls of Hell close at hand if some well-vested cocksucker tries to g-check me again, though ;)
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