Relevance
2026-07-08
To say that I don't write every day to maintain relevance would be a lie. I do want to stay relevant to my readers, but not for anyone else's sake—only for (You). Thankfully, my site is structured so that those who wish to leave can leave, but those who stay have a lot to stay for. Like I was mentioning yesterday, it is so cheap and easy to write, write, and write; the difference between me and others, I estimate, is that I am less afraid to put myself out there, regardless of how flawed or "boring" the work might seem. The only thing holding us back is fear, and so the best step to take is the one that puts us forward. I think we're all pretty set in the ways of anti-algorithmic content at this point, so that's not something I have to preach to my lovely choir. However, it is interesting that despite not serving a platform's algorithm (aside from perhaps Neocities, but they're a nonprofit so it's fine), I still find myself producing in an ethos similar to those big platforms or found in content marketing books: publish daily, publish often, and keep the content consistent and high quality.
Of course, I think that's good advice regardless of one's content delivery methods. People like knowing what to expect on a consistent, regular basis; it's comforting, isn't it? However, I want to be reliable, not out of some desire to be valuable. Can't things just be done because there's an inherent love for them? I don't want to attach any strings, come off as someone I'm not, or pretend that this work does anything beyond the explicit, intensive purpose of showing my life thought through in real time. If I just so happen to say something valuable, that's better as a consequence of the thing—it shouldn't be the Thing Itself. People don't know where to find honesty online, and that's by design; it's a zero-trust system at the end of the day, and that's why we see all the decentralization and layers of abstraction we do. Some people want to create content; the more ambitious of them want to make a platform; the most ambitious want to own the compute we all use and collect the rent for it. But even within that pernicious desire for control, order, or whatever—the decentralization takes an even further hold, and for every platform or standard that comes out, three more pop up in its stead.
In a way, it makes us feel like there's forward momentum, but that's clearly an illusion. Everything from the legal investment fraud of AI to Basel III shows that things are going to happen regardless of an everyday person's input, but hey, at least we still have stuff like the HTTP protocol and BSD license keeping us afloat, right? Eh, I think there will always be ways to maintain a freedom of expression, but I think more important than some kind of abstract self-determined "freedom" is cultivating a coherent internal set of values that can face whatever adversity may come. To me, that's the only foundation in this world that isn't made of sand or glass, and so in that sense, I'm all in. Even if it's just a simple digital garden, I find it to be a comforting act of resistance. Every day I write something and put it out, I tell the world, "Not today, asshole."
I think I've cultivated this strong internalization because of how much instability there is on a moment-to-moment basis. Just this morning as I was waking up and going outside to have a smoke, there was some commercial on TV where the words "They don't care about you" stood there in big, bold text, menacingly on the screen. It took me a good hour to get over that and go through my classic series of defenses: "It's just a commercial," "It's just a coincidence," "There is no possible way that could be talking to you directly, Noahie, that's just insane." Meanwhile, I had to calm myself down and keep myself from throwing up or having a breakdown; what a wonderful way to start the morning. If I didn't have my ways of keeping myself sane and reducing stress, there's no telling where else I'd be right now.
So more than maintaining relevance, the writing helps me stay sane; it helps me stay real. There's nothing I have to combat with my senses when I'm here, on this page, typing these words. Doing this for any kind of tangible value is stupid. Many write to be valuable, but I write just to breathe. If that's counter-signaling, counter-cultural, whatever you want to call it—I don't fucking care. Zero views, a thousand views, a million of them—it won't change a damn thing. I'll be here, regardless of who is watching, because if I'm not, I'll lose myself. I can't bear to do that again; there's too much at stake, and I'm not going to worry about insignificant minutiae like KPIs, stock ticker prices, or befuddling narratives designed to destabilize and pacify me. Fuck you, I do this for me. I want to feel real, that's all.
I just hope you're real too.
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