Extend
2026-06-02
Yesterday afternoon, I finally got back into the gym after several weeks off. With the car crash happening and whatnot, I got thrown off from my fitness routine. But in the midst of "it's so over," I always find a way to say "we're so back." I decided to go back to the 24 Hour Fitness by my house since it's so close. The nice gym was good, but it was starting to feel a bit too expensive. While the facilities are top-notch, it was quite a long drive and I just don't want to do it anymore. Even though the 24 Hour Fitness I go to is subpar, it gets the job done for my fitness needs. I wanted to go on the treadmill, but when I was there, every treadmill except for one was taken up. I go to the sole free treadmill, walk on it for two minutes, and it just—stops working. I reboot it, and two minutes later—yeah, you see what I'm getting at. Since there weren't other free treadmills and I didn't want to stand there like an idiot waiting for one, I decided to go on the elliptical instead. After several weeks off and not having used an elliptical for a while, I was pleasantly surprised at how not-horribly I did. I went a solid 25 minutes on it at a good pace and resistance, and I was sweating bullets by the end.
I will say with the 24 Hour Fitness that their hot tub is better than the one at the nicer gym, funny enough. Man's gotta have his hot tub time, what can I say? After the gym, I hopped over to my local cigar lounge for a cigar and a relaxing evening. The manager was an older black man in his 60s, and he was a pleasure to chat with. I don't smoke cigars often, so he schooled me a bit on the proper way to cut them, light them, and smoke them. The cigar was certainly good, and while I still prefer cigarettes, I had a good time. Chatting with the manager was fun, and at some point in the conversation he brought up AI. He said that he got ChatGPT to take a shirtless picture of himself and make it toned and muscular so he could use it as inspiration to get to the gym. He didn't even know that people were making porn with it, man. He held up a magazine and said to me, "So you mean I can take a photo of this beautiful woman—and make her naked?" To which I replied, "Oh, you can do way more than that, buddy." He laughed and hollered. "If I were 25, there's my whole day gone right there."
He didn't even know about Grok. That made me a bit jealous.
Things feel okay. Right now, everything feels like it's in order somehow. The waves of peace come and go, and I've gotten better at not constantly looking behind my shoulder for some kind of impending doom. The vigilance is too tiring, anyway. No, things have been good, and while I don't want to say that I'm happy, there is a small joy in being mildly content. I love the days where there's not too much to do, and when I have enough energy to sail through the day on easy waters. That boat I've been building has been getting a bit more sophisticated; feeling calm, mature, and hydrated has its benefits. You know, I recently got a few packs of sticky notes. I love being a sticky note guy; having several sticky notes around my different little hovels around the house is a nice thing. In that sense, I like having things to do—you know, for the sticky notes. I remember Ran saying that he likes having less things to do more than anything, and there have been plenty of periods in my life where I've felt that way.
But when I have good energy, having more things to do is great. If I get to extend myself, take small risks, have some fun—that to me sounds like a good time. But even outside of things potentially becoming overwhelming, the main thing I try to consider in times of extension is keeping the Lord at the forefront of my mind. The teachings, the statutes, you know? I want to consistently say my prayers, memorize more of them, and keep a better spiritual routine. To me, nothing matters more than loving God. Being alive in the world and running on its consumerist liturgical calendar makes many of us prone to its distractions. It makes us forget to love our neighbor; it makes us forget how to love ourselves. When I was younger, I think I suffered from that classic contrarian disease of not liking The Popular Thing Because It's Popular. That's the worst kind of status signaling: signaling that you have no status. I don't want people to think I'm "above" all of that stuff because I most certainly am not. Many friends would probably call me "hyper-online" or "chronically online" and that's totally true. Your boy always knows where to find the dankest memes. But I am a digger, a curious seeker of the Vibes Du Jour. The things that aren't popular yet are being made right now while no one's watching. I try to find them as quickly as I can.
In a sense, I want to find out what's going on so that I can do my part to help others get closer to God, however I can. I know it's a weird role to play, especially because a lot of people with that sentiment—myself included—suffer from a deep Rescuer Complex. But as I've lived life, I've found that I need more help than I can give. As a man, that's a tough thing to admit. It signals "loser" or "non-provider," but honestly I don't give a shit. The waves I make go beyond my periphery, and it is my solemn and joyous duty to make sure that those vibes are good, high frequency signals. I can be bitter, selfish, or whatever else; but when it's all said and done, I want my impact on the world to be positive, even if that means seeking more help than I can give. My favorite aphorism I learned from therapy was that "sometimes, the strongest thing you can do is ask for help." I don't have to be the Big Guy in the room; not like I'd want to be that, but whether it gets thrust upon me or not, I'll do my best to hold the yoke however I can.
Bitcoin address: bc1qtgqvj6qjxnaxkns20x5rcwnxvv3jqzhduvvxfc