Some Supplements
2026-01-10
I started my timer, as is custom when I sit down to write. Usually, the timer sets off something in me that makes me able to come up with a structure for these entries on the fly, but this time I don't have much of a structure at all and feel more akin to Joyce writing his free-associative tirades. In practice, though, I know that I am just working to embrace my pantser temperament a la King or Hemingway. Either way, there will still be something that comes out of my head because that is what I trained myself to do, other obligations notwithstanding.
Luckily for me, inspiration comes at the same time every morning.
I've been on a strict regimen of a few supplements that are typically called nootropics. They are meant to increase cognitive ability. The main ones I take are lion's mane, ashwagandha, and bacopa monnieri. Lion's mane and ashwagandha are relatively well-known. Lion's mane is supposed to help build new neural connections in the brain and help with nerve health. Ashwagandha is supposed to ease anxiety and improve mood, which is key for me since I have bipolar disorder. Bacopa is a newer one I started and is supposed to have similar benefits as lion's mane, but acts on different neurological subsystems.
I've been on all three of these supplements for over six months now and I think that there's been a noticeable improvement in my life. Firstly, I haven't had any major mood episodes for about four months now. Second, I think that my cognition has improved. One noticeable side effect, however, is a sort of half-drunkenness I feel. It's hard to describe. It's like brain fog, except instead of feeling zapped, I feel a bit cloudy. Things feel slightly slowed down, as if life is playing on 0.95x speed. I don't think it's a bad feeling, but it does feel markedly different from more 'default' or 'sober' mental states I am usually in. Granted, I haven't experienced those states as much as the average person due to my bipolar disorder, but it still feels foreign to me.
Despite these side effects, I would rather contend with them than psychiatric medications or no treatment at all. It can be argued that I'm self-medicating, and I would say that's true. The problem is that getting medicated by doctors and dealing with the healthcare industry as a whole does not adhere to my best interests as they should. I know this from personal experience.
A few years ago, I was on a new antipsychotic that hit the market. Since it was so new, it didn't have a generic version yet. The company that made it needed to earn the money they spent making it quickly, and so they charged $1,000 for a month's prescription. My insurance company was supposed to pay it and they did for several months. Thankfully, I responded well to the medication. When I went to the pharmacy, I didn't spend more than $40 for my monthly prescription.
Out of nowhere, however, my insurance company decided to stop covering the medication and forced me to pay out of pocket for it. My provider, instead of making a case for me with my insurance, prescribed me a new medication that—lo and behold—had the exact same issue as the previous one.
After that, I decided that I didn't want to be bound by a system that obviously didn't care about my health. I knew that I had to take the situation into my own hands. I did some research and found that there was some evidence showing that my supplements could help with managing my bipolar disorder. Granted, there wasn't substantial evidence, but there was enough to give it a shot. I didn't have other options, so I went ahead and made the decision to stop taking my psychiatric medications daily. I relegated that to my supplements.
I still have a generic antipsychotic that I can take as needed if I feel myself going manic. I don't take any more antidepressants or mood stabilizers—those didn't do much for me either. I went from a bureaucratically prescribed chemical cocktail to a self-prescribed one, and so far the latter has proven to be better not just for my health, but also for my sanity and my wallet. I don't have to go to a pharmacy to pick up my treatment. I can buy them through less red tape.
I'll drink to that.