Prayer and Patience
2026-01-27
Prayer continues to be a great source of personal fulfillment. More than that, I've come to a deeper understanding of how to use prayer to ward off demons. This video was an important piece of instruction for me. I watched it for the first time yesterday and had that classic moment where you feel like someone said something just for you. It took many things I struggle with and addressed them directly, honestly, and practically. I felt like I was breathing air again after holding my breath for years.
My prayer practice has been simple: I have a prayer rope with a hundred knots and a small prayer corner in my room. In the mornings, I go around the rope and say the Jesus Prayer for each knot. After that, I say a Hail Mary and the Lord's Prayer. These morning prayers take about fifteen minutes. In the evenings as part of my bedtime routine I go around the rope again, say a Hail Mary, and pray to Saint Michael for protection against demons in my dreams. This prayer time also takes about fifteen minutes.
Overall, it's been a rich and fulfilling addition to my life. My prayer corner is a humble one, but I hope to add more icons and incense soon, as I keep attending church and becoming more involved with my parish. I am excited to start my catechism and be received as a catechumen. Honestly, though, I am feeling impatient about the process. I know that it takes time and I am willing to be patient, but I still don't want to deny my feelings of impatience. Regardless, I know that as long as I remain vigilant in prayer and consistent in my attendance, everything will fall into place exactly as it should.
Last time I went, I asked a few people about whether Old Testament characters are canonized as saints. My name is Noahie, which is a nickname for Noah, so I was curious about whether that was an acceptable Christian name in the church. The people I asked told me that it was an acceptable Christian name, which is a relief for me. I didn't want to pick a new name. I've never gone by Noah, always Noahie. Noahie is my legal name, and it is what everyone has always called me. I think it'll be a good change of pace, though, to start going by my Christian name once I am received into the church. That'll be a true mark of transformation and an important next step to take.
Funny enough, I've never felt a deep connection to the name Noah or the patriarch himself. Of course, I know the story, but it has always been a strange thing for me to accept. Really, most of Genesis is difficult to accept. There have been many narratives about Darwinian evolution and how it is supposed to be directly opposed to the creation story found in Genesis. When I deconstructed from my faith back in high school, I became convinced that Genesis was a fairy tale, or at least not something to be taken literally. I was sure that it was a story told to manipulate people into a certain way of thinking.
However, I don't necessarily feel that way anymore. I don't think that Genesis is supposed to be taken as historical fact, but I also don't want to assert that it's a metaphor either. Really, I think that the creation of the universe is something that humanity is unable to wrap its head around. If anything, the creation story in Genesis is just an approximation, something that takes a process we can't come to know, and explains it in human terms. More than that, it is a mystery. It's something that we shouldn't think too much about because we have more important matters to attend to, such as our salvation.
That applies to my skepticism about the story of Noah as well. How did it literally happen? I don't know, and it's not important. There's something deeper than historical accuracy at play here, and that's what I'd rather concern myself with. In terms of his character, I think that's more important for me to focus on than the plot of his story. Noah was righteous; he listened to God. It was important for him to take the promises of God and see them through so that they could be fulfilled. To me, that's the most important work.
Everything else is just plot.
Other people at my parish talked about their Christian names and patron saints. It's nice to hear their stories. Some had to find their patron saint since they weren't born with Christian names. Others found out about their patron saint through their given legal names. There were some who had a legal name that could have been their Christian name, but their patron saint revealed themself instead. Where am I going to fall?
I'll just have to be patient.
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